How to let go of old patterns

Who of you already has tried to release old patterns and the first few days, weeks of the transformation were amazing. You were all aligned with your vision and took the actions needed. But then suddenly – BOOM – something triggers you and you are back to where you’ve started. Negative self-talk taps back in like “Why are you even trying to change, you will anyway never make it” or “What were you thinking of who you are to believe that you can become this new version of yourself”. The down spiral starts to turn, and you loose strength as well as motivation to change. So why is it so hard for us to release old patterns? Or better how can we implement new behaviours? Here are four simple steps to break out of old patterns:


1. Awareness

First step of every change is to become aware of the current situation. Become conscious of what is it you are actually doing that doesn’t serve you. In which situations are you actually falling back into old behaviours and what triggers them. Also important is to realize that we often fall back into old patterns as they feel save to us.  We love security especially when we are in situations where we are stressed or out of our normal surrounding and rhythms, which is the case when you start a transformation. This is also why it is so hard to change. At that point you start to look for something which feels familiar even when you know exactly, that going back into this familiarity isn’t good for you. Become aware of when, why, how old patterns influence us and when we move back into them is the most important thing in order to change. You can raise your level of consciousness for example through journaling and / or meditating.


2. Decision

It’s time for you to take a honest decision once you’ve become aware of what you are doing that doesn’t serve you. It’s the point where you get tired of your own bullshit. Questions like is this really the way I want to be? Is this the version of myself which I am choosing to be? Do I want to keep this pattern in my life? By becoming conscious that you are the creator of your life and you always have the decision of letting go of what no longer serves you is essential. Without this step you will always fall back.  Take a clear decision that this is the moment you want to change. That you this is not who you want to be, what you want to do or how you want to (re)act. Be honest to yourself and see where you will stand in five years if you aren’t releasing certain behaviours. Communicate your decision for change openly, write it down and create your personal mantra out of it. Make your transformation the top priority in life, the rest will follow.


3. Action

Change never happens by itself. It’s you who has to take the action-steps in order to make it happen. Question yourself of what you need to change in order to not fall back (easily) into old patterns? What situations, people, surroundings, events can you remove or avoid to move forward? Keep track of where you stand now. This can be for example in form of an journal or a coach. Last but not least choose your support team consciously. “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” is a common phrase and so true. Connect with people who already have implemented the new patterns you wish to see in your life. Learn how they think, what they do and copy them. Ask them how they’ve released old patterns.


4. Forgiveness

Letting go of old patterns and implement change takes time. Be kind to yourself. It’s totally normal to take more steps backwards then you just moved forward, to fall out of balance and lose track of where you actually wanted to go/be. The most important is to forgive yourself. Take some extra time for self-care and self-reflection. Remind yourself why you wanted to release old patterns and all the positive things which come with the new-self. Then get back on track with lots of self-compassion and gratitude for life.


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